Rolling with the Punches

I find myself here, after nearly a month of neglecting this personal platform that I've grown to love so much, with feelings of conviction, stress, anxiety, and just plain ole' tired.

Conviction for what you might ask? I AM TIRED. SO TIRED. But even more than I am tired, I'm guilty for doing the one thing I said I WOULD NOT DO---slack. Slack in updating you guys even with the plethora of bomb ass suggestions and ideas you've given me. Slack in my studies when I know I could be doing more and studying harder (though I can't complain bc FOR NOW I'm doing fairly well). But most importantly, slack in my mental upkeep.

I realized, after 40+ hours of studying this week and stressing myself to pieces, that I was neglecting this blog to focus on school (which in turn has turned my head grey) when my sole purpose of blogging was to relieve the stress and anxiety I have being a nursing student, and using this as a therapeutic way to share with you all. I literally had to put everything down to open my laptop and get to typing. So, here goes my update:

It is now mid-October. You can likely tell from my lack of a September update that I've been pretty busy these days.

The good news is, I made a 96A on my first Health Assessment exam and 1st ever Nursing exam (YAS, OKKKK), and an 84 on my Fundamentals test (Which is the class 40% of first year program students fail and the test most ppl get 50s and 60s on).

September was a prosperous month for the most part, I cant complain. I thought I had it all together, until of course, OCTOBER.

My white coat Ceremony was Oct 4th (pictures will be below), and my class began Clinical rotations this week following fall break. I'm not going to lie and say I spent my break studying like a wise nursing student would, because I didn't. I spent much needed catch up time with my family and boyfriend, though I should have definitely squeezed some review room in there somewhere. Any who, I had my first Clinical day in the hospital yesterday from 6:00am to 11:00am and I must say, I had an entire panic attack post-clinical. (Might I add that I have the most difficult Clinical professor in the entire Nursing department?! I always like to give credit where it's due, lol)

So here I am thinking "This whole nursing school thing is a BREEZE. I was worried for nothing". Ha.

I got home and realized that not only do I have 2 exams to study for, but I have nearly 13 different assignments due next week, and 7 of those assignments I'm only given 24 hours to fulfill and will be given them the day before so we can't start on them early. Now this may not sound like a lot, but in the nursing world when having to type multiple care plans, diagnosis, assessments, health history papers etc in 7 days AND study for 2 extremely difficult nursing exams simultaneously?! Just imagine typing a 10-15 page paper with a full thesis and works cited in less than 24 hours. That's where I'm at mentally.

So, after taking a night to recoup, Ive decided not to worry. Should I have studied earlier? Yes. Should I have procrastinated? Not in the least. But it's a life lesson learned not to slack off in any aspect of life just because you think you're in the clear or don't have to worry, because you never know what will be thrown your way (in my case, it's 13 diff assignments and 2 test all in a weeks time).

I've been stressing myself on how I could possibly do all of this successfully to the point I had a super tension HA.... I mean headache (i'm trying so hard not to use medical jargon here lolol) I found a nice little app called Calm:Meditation that really helped me to relax and refocus my thought to more positive ones.

So, in spite of the crazy mess of a life I got myself into this month, I will see it through with grace and diligence. I will come out stronger. I will KILL NEXT MONTH, whether I reap the consequences of procrastination or manage to somehow grasp everything and do exceedingly well (lettuce pray). This program is a learning process, holistically. I find myself more and more passionate about nursing as I study further, and I know this is where I need to be. I've just been rolling with the punches, but it's time to really tune in and focus.

As for the rest of my month, with the hopes it's not nearly as packed with assignments, I plan to spend it studying, making my coins, and POSSIBLY getting lit for halloween weekend in my costume of interest! (Only if I do well on my tests, of course).

Thank you guys for keeping up with my lil maze of a life, and always giving such great input! I AM SERIOUSLY NOT NEGLECTING COSMIC PSYCHE BC I CHOOSE TO PROCRASTINATE IN CLASS ANY LONGER.. so, talk to y'all super soon. I have some surprises in store. :)

Xoxo.

White Coat Shawties, yay!